Dictatorships are typically characterised by restrictions on individuals – on their movement, speech, and thought. Under my regime there will be as little of this as possible because the truth is you can’t stop people being people, i.e. sometimes being insufferably boring. You can’t stop someone liking any song sung by The Feeling. YOU CANNOT FORCE PEOPLE TO HAVE ANY ACTUAL TASTE. Besides, banning things only makes them more attractive to any rebellious factions. Therefore I only intend to ban things that are really shit. Like Star Wars 1-3, crocs, any recent film starring Nicholas Cage, the Daily Fail etc. Anyone attempting to overthrow me will be literally laughed out of town by their desire to reinstate such rubbish. Yes, literally. I intend to make the resistance look as silly as possible or at least make them easily identifiable. So people with fair skin will be advised against wearing orange (permissible of course if of Dutch origin) and interventions will be staged for people wearing too much fake tan. You could go against these but really what’s the point? OK sure it’s freedom of expression but YOU ARE MERELY EXPRESSING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TANGOED! And I’m fairly sure that wasn’t your intention.
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